Ah yes. Brain noise. I've been struggling with what I call "too much input". It's been too noisy in my head for my characters' (those imaginary friends we writers all have) voices to come through.
I keep telling myself I need to unplug, to only use my computer as the writing tool it was meant to be. I need to leave possible social networks either turned off or relegated to special use on my phone only.
Social networks are awesome. Some of them. We won't get into my strong dislike of Facebook. Buuut, I've got this thing that makes me keep going back to my networks of choice. I've got cultivated relationships there, and I am afraid that everyone will leave, if I go Do All the Things.
One wise person commented: life has a tendency to rear its ugly head when most inopportune. Anyone that doesn't understand that isn't human. (Thanks, Matthew Stevens! You really helped me take this needed step. :) )
Still, the fear of abandonment runs deep in my psyche. It's not a rational fear. So I stay waiting for the next instantly gratifying interaction that satisfies my addiction and calms my fear. It's a fear I need to battle to gain the victory of discipline.
I love the besties I've made on Twitter and Pinterest. I may have an overblown perception of the level of BFF I've got going with some, but I still love them. My awesome tweeps say A LOT, and as I said, my chatty and interesting network is starting to drown out my more fragile and introverted imaginary friends I call my characters.
If I can't hear my characters voices, I can't write. I always (almost always) start every story with my characters. If they run and hide, I'm doomed to a writers' block as real as this winter has been horrid.
So my darlings, if this blog gets neglected...if you don't see me much on Twitter or Pinterest...it's because I'm trying to clear the noise in my head. I may have a fear of everyone leaving, but my characters abandoning me is even scarier. I have to trust that I'll get real people back, but characters are even more easily surrendered to the ether, if they aren't allowed to shine through above everything else.
I know I've said things like "I'm unplugging" before. Fear has kept me from complying with discipline. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
Incidentally, while I'm clearing out some brain noise, you'll want to go read a book by one of my very first BFF tweeps, Jen Naumann. She's got an intriguing take she calls Mind Static. I guarantee it's more entertaining than my noise. Also, if you like a little creepy in your life, check out her newest release Paranormal Keepers. Don't forget the rest of her books. You won't be disappointed!
See you back when I've got a grubby little manuscript clutched in my ink stained fingers!